WHAT HE MEANS WHEN HE CALLS YOU HIS ‘FRIEND’

If the guy you’ve been seeing refuses to call you anything but a friend, he isn’t saying he doesn’t like you. I mean, he has been cooking you spaghetti, sleeping with you and even watching “The Secret Garden” with you when he could be out kicking it with his bros, so he must think something of you.

Likely he thinks about you a great deal (a great deal more than his average friend), but there are other things on his mind distracting him from being a lover, a boyfriend, a companion, a beau, a significant other, a partner, and here are some of the predominant thoughts filling up the brains of boys like this and what he really means when he drops the “friend” status on you:

“Your sister’s hot.”
“I have a lot of seed to spread.”
“I still eat Egg McMuffins every day.”
“I’m sleeping with your classmate from Hemingway class.”
“The gaze of the other objectifies me.”
“You are not my mom.”
“I can only date someone into anime.”
“You can’t make me feel guilty.”
“I don’t want my ex to know about you.”
“But you’re voting for Hillary.”
“I’m an aspiring swinger.”
“I’m charming.”

If he changes his mind and decides you are in fact more than a friend, which he is likely to do over time, then rest assured that his thoughts have transformed to something like this:

“You make me feel safe.”
“I like your Egg McMuffins.”
“You’re like a new mom.”
“Fuck politics anyway.”
“Swingers are better in theory.”
“I can’t keep up with your sister.”
“My ex is a bitch.”
“I’m not that charming.”

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