Please don’t say this to pregnant women…

When I became pregnant, my friend said, “prepare to become public property.” Unfortunately, it’s not uncommon for people just to reach out and touch your stomach, ask you personal questions and give you unwanted advice. Many are more passive about their nonsensical participation in the pregnant mama harassment game, but they are out of line all the same.

This is many people. This is probably you and you don’t even know it. Before you say anything to the lady with the spherical belly, reconsider. Pause and stop yourself from saying anything resembling the following:
“You look tired.” You look like a nosy turd.

“Are you pregnant?” If she is or if she isn’t you have now made her feel fat. 

“Are you having twins?” See above.

“Is it a boy or a girl?” Not exactly offensive, but like the weather, overplayed.

“Can I touch your belly.” It’s something that happens daily and while it can be nice on occasion the belly is not a public art piece. 

“Your belly looks like an alien.” Your face looks like an alien, buddy.
Name advice. I read comments under a couple of names I like. “That’s trashy. Overdone. Too pretentious!” I’m sorry but it’s not your name, what do you care?
Some women like to give advice, especially to new moms. This usually is because they mean well but what if new mama doesn’t want to raise her kid your way? Am I breastfeeding? Am I using disposable diapers? Am I vaccinating? So I have a doula? Am I having a natural birth? This is MY baby. Watch your own baby and shut up.

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One thought on “Please don’t say this to pregnant women…

  1. “Do you know hwo the dad is?” Me: I do, but that is really privat. they: “AH. You don’t know who the dad is…” Me (thinking): You fucking asshole. If jail was still an option for me I would give you an even uglier new face.

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