If you are between the ages of 12 and 83, you’re probably having some sort of life crisis. The only way to approach it is by reading a selection of these self-help books from the personal growth section of your local bookstore.
1. “Essential steps to run-in-a-meadow-waving-arms-wildly-for-an-instagram-selfie love life”
Aka. Tattoos won’t give you a personality
Aka. You’re a little fish in an ocean of sea monsters
Aka. You like me but do you like like like me?
Aka. What if the best day of your life was a dream?
Aka. Watch a toddler walk to feel better about yourself
Aka. Keep French dictionaries and fruity lip gloss in your desk
Aka. You’re good at sex, I can tell
Aka. You can never tell if it’s life or your never-ending overpowering melancholic depression
Aka. Your dream of being a principal dancer in the NYC Ballet might not come true
Aka. “Everything happens for a reason,” says a man who gets hit by a bus today
Aka. The whole world is turning into a trash can
12. “Sometimes I don’t even know if I’m alive”
Aka. You can’t out-dream me, you little bitch
Aka. Good luck