You’re using the wrong criteria to pick the president

It’s election year, and everyone is talking about why they have chosen a particular candidate and everyone else is bad. Occasionally a friend tells you that politics is brain control and voting is for sheep, but for the most part people are involved, opinionated and mad. 
So where do you come in? Who do you choose after all of the headlines, memes, debates and Facebook arguments? The answer is simple:
Does your favorite candidate look like a President? I mean, are you going to want to look at this face everyday for the next four years, in news and on TV? Likewise, do they have a sexy voice? An attractive smile?
Does your candidate of choice have a quality meme to back them? What do they look like in a photoshopped image with your face? Can you picture their caricature on your cool tumblr blog? 
Who do your favorite comedians endorse? These are the guys that tell it like it is and make you laugh. You turn their stand-up on at the end of a long day and memorize your favorite jokes for your new dates. If they are picking the left-wing anarchist then you need to do that too, because let’s face it, nobody really knows what’s going on and comedians, much like the Shakespearean fool, have a third eye and penchant for laughs. 
Your top candidate should not garner scathing reviews from your peers. The only grain you want to go against is one that your peers can agree on. These are the same peers who are perpetually drunk and unemployed. They know best.