First of all, you lack a sense of identity. In the age of stimulus-overdrive and options by the millions, you have ceased to carry a direction, a sense of self, and meaning. You are on your way to existential dread and melancholic ennui, so that’s great! You are half French already. We all know the height of eloquence, sexy simplicity and je ne sais quoi is a French attitude. If you can carry yourself with the confidence and aloofness of a French person you can carry yourself with the best of them (think Catherine Deneuve and Coco Chanel). How exactly to attain the sophisticated, frank, effortless and natural grace of a French person without being French?
Flaws are important. They make you YOU. Embrace your moles, your wrinkles and especially your eyebrows. French people don’t pluck their brows and you shouldn’t either. I mean, where would we be without Simone de Beauvoir’s expressive eyebrows? In fact the more disorder you create the better. Joie de vivre comes from wearing mismatched underwear and flower patterns with plaid, letting the phone ring out to voicemail, arguing several times about nothing, and sprinkling vodka in your green tea.
Be romantic with yourself. Buy yourself flowers. Buy yourself ice cream and a baguette with brie.
You: You look fabulous today.
You: *blush” thank you, I feel miserable though, but thank you.
You: You’re a goddess.
You: Oh I don’t know, I am a swamp creature. *laughs*
Cry for no reason. Don’t answer his calls. Sit on a park bench and appear lost in thought.
If you don’t know who you are be French. Bonne chance.