I think I have a different idea of good friendship than a lot of society. For me it isn’t assuaging your ego or crying about all your hardships to gain sympathy (that is knowledge you gain in time not to reel in a friendship), and it isn’t public performance, social obligations, extravagant birthday parties, presents and daily gossip sessions with your clique. I love jokes and wit and general goofiness and those help solidify a connection but for me a real fucking friendship is consistency in compassion and respect; being there for the occasional meltdown and being there for spontaneous surprises. It also means some patience getting past people’s barriers, discernment, some raw honesty, acceptance but also challenging constructively the parts inside you that want to crumble or flower or scream. Friends I’ve lost were never my friends, and even if it’s sad to lose them it does give me space for people who will really be there not with flirtatious words, ephemeral promises and begrudged obligations but rather with their hearts.