She & Him

She: What do you hate?

Him: What do you mean what do I hate?

She: I want to know everything that scares you and everything you hate? First things that comes to mind.

HIm: What if I don’t hate anything?

She: That’s a lie. Than your liar.

HIm: Ok. I hate new couples that are super friendly because they’re obviously getting fucked hard and often. What do you hate?

She: Ok. I hate being cold. What else do you hate? Keep going.

Him: I hate people that preach morals and jesus.

She: I hate old women who stare you down when you wear short shorts.

Him:  I hate it when people can’t shut up about their ethnicity or their history or their terrible childhoods.

She: I hate Hello Kitty.

HIm: I hate dogs that bark at me.

She: I hate mayonnaise.

Him: You don’t like mayonnaise?

She: No.

Him: (frowning)  I hate cars with a hundred bumper stickers.

She: I hate people who run into you because they’re staring at their phones on the sidewalk.

HIm: I hate leopard print phone covers.

She:  I hate people that say they don’t hate anything.

Him: I hate that I don’t hate you.